Wilfred Ramarni,Alannah George and Anala Beevers
Success breeds resentment and jealousy. Another side of success that is not talked about
As you rise in life and elevate your game, it's important to remember that no matter how well-intentioned, helpful or pleasant you are that there are some people who won't want to see you shine. In fact they are hoping to see you fall. So much so that they will try to dismiss you, diminish your achievements, pretend they don't see you rising, assassinate your character, discredit you, talk about you behind your back, use innuendos and sarcasm to try to get at you or attempt to eat from your plate without putting in the work to make the meal.
A jealous person won't come out and tell you that they are jealous of you, nor will they admit it to anyone else. Why? Their pride and ego won't allow it. Instead their jealousy will show up in the form of resentment, constant criticism, open hostility, imitation, gossiping, playing down your accomplishments, an insatiable need to try and one-up you, not inviting you to certain events for fear that you will outshine them, not wanting you to come around their other friends for fear that their friends may actually see that you are a stand up kind of person and want to become your friend too, waiting on the sidelines wishing for your demise and last but not least...kicking you when you fall.
Jealousy comes in many forms. Sometimes a person will be jealous of your success or accomplishments, your persistence in pursuing your dreams, your charisma, your happiness and peace of mind, your faith walk, your strength, looks, resources, business savvy, your influence, your marriage, your family relationships, network of people you know or your ability to bounce back from adversity. And jealous people can exist everywhere at work, in church, within your family, with your friends and even within your online social networks….YES faceboooook. See the thing is, when you have a deeper sense of self-esteem, resilience and purpose, it can intimidate others and cause them to resent you, often without even knowing why. Be that as it may, you cannot allow other people's issues with you to cause you to play your life small.
Jealousy is like a parasite. Once you allow it into your space it literally sucks the life right out of you. This is why it is key that the moment you encounter jealousy you cut it off at the head. Don't give jealous people any room in your life to impact you, any space in your head to discourage you or any power to rob you of your peace, purpose or destiny. Simply hold your head up high and continue to do you.
Whether you are dealing with a person who is ignorant, insecure, malicious or miserable, the best thing that you can do when a jealous person comes your way is to put as much distance as possible between you and that person. You cannot afford to allow jealous people to block your blessings and rain on your parade. Success comes at a price…Success can also keep you isolated. Don’t worry it is normal. I am dealing with that right now. Anyway you are amazing. Being amazing comes with haters.
Children have never been perfect at listening to their parents, but they have never failed to imitate them.
1. Walk the talk — always set a great example.
It’s not what you say, it’s how you live your life every day. Don’t tell your children how to live; LIVE and let them watch you. Practice what you preach or don’t preach at all. Walk the talk. Your children look up to you and they will emulate your actions and strive to become who you are.
So BE who you want them to be.
In other words, be the change you want to see in your child. Give what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, and mirror what you admire. Every single day.
Your children are the greatest gift life will give you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility it will place in your hands. Take time with them, and teach them to have faith in themselves by being a person they can have faith in ..... a person they can trust without question. When you are old, nothing else you’ve done will have mattered as much.
2. Reduce YOUR stress level in the household.
Not easy, I know, but believe it or not what children want from their parents more than anything else is for them to be happier and less stressed.
3. Believe in your children.
The greatest compliment you can give to a child is to believe in them and let them know you care. When you see something true, good and beautiful in them, don’t hesitate to express your admiration. When you see something that is not true, good and beautiful in them, don’t neglect to give them your wholehearted assistance and guidance.
The simple act of believing that your child is capable and worthy makes a big difference. It gives them confidence and makes them feel qualified to do great things.
4. Praise your children for their effort, not their intelligence.
Based on the point above, this might sound a bit counter intuitive, but when you praise a child’s efforts you are bringing attention to something they can easily control — the amount of effort they put in. This is immensely important because it teaches them to persist, and that personal growth through hard work is possible. They come to see themselves as “in control” of their success in life.
Emphasizing God-given intelligence takes progress out of your child’s control, and it provides no good recipe for responding to a failure. In turn, your child may begin to think that innate intelligence is always going to be a missing ingredient for them, and disregard the importance of their effort to learn and grow. With that said, a word to the wise: Don’t over-praise your children for no reason. Make sure your gestures of praise are warranted. Because if every single move your child makes is based only on rewards like constant praise, when the praise stops, the effort stops too. And that’s not good because it means they won’t be able to perform well when you’re not around.
5. Don’t read TO your children, read WITH them.
Got a youngster who’s learning to read? Don’t let them just stare at the pictures in a book while you do all the work by reading every word to them. Instead, call attention to the words. Point to them. Point to the pictures that illustrate them.
Read WITH them, not to them.
Research shows this tactic helps build a child’s reading comprehension. When shared book reading is enriched with explicit attention to the development of a child’s reading skills, it truly becomes an effective vehicle for promoting early literacy. Perhaps even more importantly than that, it makes learning more fun. And as you know, fun times are happy times in a child’s mind.
6. Eat dinner together as a family.
Eating dinner together makes a difference. Research suggests that children who enjoy family meals have larger vocabularies, better manners, healthier diets, and higher self-esteem in the long run. Even if eating dinner together every night isn’t possible, you should make it a point to eat together as a family at least once a week.
Even if eating dinner together every night isn’t possible, you should make it a point to eat together as a family at least once a week.
7. Create logical, reasonable rules and boundaries for your children.
Children don’t do well in a free-for-all environment. It’s a myth that being too strict guarantees rebellion and being permissive drives better behavior. From the research we’ve done, it’s clear that children who go crazy and get in trouble mostly have parents who don’t set reasonable rules and boundaries. If their parents are loving and accepting no matter what they do — even when they are unruly — children take their parent’s lack of rules as a sign that they don’t really care about them — that they don’t really want the job of being parents in the first place.
On the flip side, parents who are consistent in enforcing rules and boundaries are often the same parents who become the closest with their children. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should over-do the rules, or make rules just for the sake of making rules. Parents that are too controlling raise children that are stifled and bored. And stifled, bored kids are likely to rebel.
Seattle police officers shot pregnant woman seven times and one of the bullets struck her unborn baby boy, autopsy reveals
The father of a pregnant woman who was shot dead by police officers after she called to report a robbery in June has released her autopsy report.
Charleena Lyles was nearly four months pregnant on June 18 when she called police to report an Xbox stolen at her Seattle apartment.
It's still unclear how the confrontation unfolded, but in less than three minutes, the two officers opened fire on the 30-year-old in front of three of her four children.
The officers, Jason Anderson and Steven McNew, said that they started shooting at Lyles when she lunged at them holding knives.
The autopsy report, released Wednesday, shows that Lyles was shot seven times, including twice in the back.
One of the bullets perforated her uterus, striking her unborn baby boy. Both mother and son died at the hospital. The unborn baby boy would have been Lyles' fifth child.
The report also included toxicology reports, showing that Lyles didn't have alcohol or drugs in her system at the time.
Her father, Charles Lyles, told The people: 'Hearing the details of the shooting just makes me feel more empty. I lost my daughter and my next grandson. I just don't have the words.'
The fact that she was shot in the back leads family members to question the officers' side of the story.
'Did they shoot her as she fell to the ground? Was she running away?' cousin Katrina Johnson asked. 'How did she get shot in the back? I still don't know that and understand that, but any which way, it was excessive force. Seven times for her little pregnant 100-pound self was out of control.'
Koehler said that they decided to release the autopsy report to dispel the public assumptions about the case.
'If you have been reading the dialogue you might have assumed she was a poor, single black woman with multiple children who must have been on drugs, and that is a false assumption and a false narrative,' Koehler told the people.
Jason Anderson (right) and Steven McNew (left) are the two officers who shot Lyles dead. They are on paid administrative leave pending the results of an internal investigationRead more
There was a three-fold increase in the number of people reporting significant depression and anxiety problems during lockdown.
If isolation, anxiety, economic uncertainty, and the daily onslaught of bad news generated by the coronavirus pandemic are taking a heavy toll on your mood, you’re not alone. The stress of social isolation, the worry about jobs, money, and health, and the profound feelings of loss that many of us are experiencing at the moment can trigger depression for the first time or exacerbate symptoms if you’ve already been diagnosed. When you’re suffering from depression, life can seem overwhelmingly bleak and hopeless. It can interfere with your ability to think straight, drain your energy, and make it difficult to get through the day. This is a distressing, uncertain time. Even as some places start to open up again after months of lockdown, the end may still seem a long way off. You may have lost your job, be struggling financially, and worried about if and when the economy will pick up. You could be grieving the loss of loved ones or the life you knew before the pandemic, or feeling frustrated and cut off by continued social distancing. Living in the age of coronavirus can have a profound effect on your mood.
Isolation and loneliness fuels depression. Human beings are social creatures. Being cut off from the love, support, and close contact of family and friends can trigger depression or make existing symptoms worse. Months of social distancing and sheltering at home can leave you feeling isolated and lonely, having to face your problems alone.
A troubled relationship may be even worse than loneliness. While strong and supportive relationships are crucial for your mental wellbeing, being forced to spend months quarantined in a troubled, unhappy, or abusive relationship can be even more damaging to your mood than being alone.
Anxiety can lead to depression. All the fear and uncertainty surrounding COVID-19 means it’s natural to worry. When your worries spiral out of control, though, they can cause panic and anxiety. Since anxiety and depression are believed to stem from the same biological vulnerability, one can often lead to the other.
Stress levels are soaring. Experiencing a major change in your life, such the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, being diagnosed with a serious illness, or financial or relationship difficulties, can bring overwhelming levels of stress. As a result of this pandemic, you may be experiencing several of these major stressors at once, making you more vulnerable to depression.
We’re turning to unhealthy ways of coping. The boredom, loneliness and stress of being in lockdown, struggling financially, or having to juggle a job and home school your kids, can prompt unhealthy ways of coping. Maybe you’re drinking too much, abusing drugs, or overeating junk food in an attempt to self-medicate your mood and deal with stress. While these methods may provide a brief respite, in the long-run they’ll make your depression symptoms much worse. Instead, you can use the following healthy strategies to boost your mood and ease your depression.
Change your focus
There’s no easy fix for recovering from depression, and finding the energy and motivation to take the first step can be tough. But you have more control over your mood than you may realize.
It’s true that these are painful and worrying times, and few people have much to be cheerful about at the moment. But at the same time, depression can make things seem even worse than they really are. When you’re depressed, everything is filtered through a lens of negativity. By simply recognizing that, you can start to change your focus and take the first step to feeling more optimistic.
Distract yourself. When you’re depressed, out of work, and isolated from your social network, the negative thoughts running over and over in your head can seem never ending. But you can break the cycle by focusing on something that adds meaning and purpose to your life. Perhaps there’s something you’ve always wanted to learn, like a new language or a musical instrument? Or perhaps you’ve always wanted to write a novel, take up cooking, or grow your own vegetables? Focusing on a project or goal, even a small one, can give you a welcome break from negative thoughts and worries—and add a sense of meaning to your days.
Find simple sources of joy. While you can’t force yourself to have fun, you can push yourself to do things that will boost your mood throughout day. Try listening to uplifting music (even getting up and dancing around if you can) or finding a reason to laugh by watching funny videos on YouTube or episodes of your favorite sitcom. Spending time in nature—whether it’s walking in the park, paddling on the beach, or going for a hike—can ease stress and put a smile on your face, even if you’re alone. Or try playing with your kids or a pet—they’ll benefit as much as you will.
Limit your consumption of news. Yes, you want to stay informed, but overconsuming sensationalistic news or unreliable social media coverage will only fuel your negativity and fear. Limit how often you check news or social media and confine yourself to reputable sources.
Maintain a routine. Sleeping too much or too little, skipping meals or exercise, and neglecting your personal care only feeds into your depression. Establishing and maintaining a daily routine, on the other hand, adds structure to your day, even if you’re alone and out of work. Try to include set times for exercising, spending time outside, and communicating with friends each day.
Express gratitude. When you’re depressed, especially at this awful time, it can seem that everything in life is bleak and hopeless. But even in the darkest days, it’s usually possible to find one thing you can be grateful about—the beauty of a sunset or a phone call from a friend, for example. It sounds cheesy but acknowledging your gratitude can provide a respite from negative thinking and really boost your mood. For a meditation to help you develop this habit, click here.
Find new ways to engage with others
Meeting friends and family in person is still difficult for many of us at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to feeling isolated and alone. While nothing beats the mood-boosting power of face-to-face contact, chatting over a video link, on the phone, or via text can still help you feel more connected. Reach out to close friends and family, take this opportunity to look up old friends, or schedule online get-togethers with groups of people. Even if your depression symptoms make you want to retreat into your shell, it’s vital you regularly stay in contact with people.
How to really CONNECT with others
Whether you’re talking with a friend or loved one at a social distance, via video, or on the phone, it’s important to strive for more than just a surface connection. The deeper the connection you establish, the more you’ll both benefit.
Move beyond small talk. To really establish a connection that will ease your loneliness and depression, you need to take a risk and open up. Sticking to small talk and limiting yourself to a surface connection with others can actually make you feel even lonelier.
Share about yourself. Open up about what you’re going through, the feelings you’re experiencing. It won’t make you a burden to the other person. Rather, your friend or loved one will most likely be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only deepen the bond between you.
Nothing needs to get “fixed”. Depression relief comes from making a connection and being heard by someone. The person you talk to doesn’t need to come up with solutions, they just listen to you without judging or criticizing. And the same is true when you’re listening to them.
Adopt healthy daily habits
Your daily habits can play a big role in helping you to overcome depression. During this health crisis, it’s tempting to slip into bad habits, especially if you’re stuck at home and not able to work. You may sleep irregular hours, overeat to relieve the stress and boredom, or drink too much to fill the lonely evenings. But by adopting a healthier daily routine, you can bolster your mood, feel more energized, and relieve symptoms of depression.
Get moving. Exercising is one of the last things you feel like doing when you’re depressed—but it’s also one of the most effective ways of boosting your mood. In fact, regular exercise can be just as effective as antidepressant medication in relieving depression. Even if you’re still under lockdown or a stay-at-home order, there are creative ways to fit movement into your daily routine.
Practice relaxation techniques. Incorporating a relaxation technique such as meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or a breathing exercise into your daily schedule can provide a welcome break from the cycle of negative thinking, as well as relieve tension and anxiety.
Eat a mood-boosting diet. In times of stress, we of often turn to “comfort foods” packed with unhealthy fats, sugar, and refined carbs. But these foods, along with too much caffeine and alcohol, can adversely impact your mood. Instead, focus on fresh, wholesome foods whenever possible and increase your intake of mood-enhancing nutrients such as omega-3 fatty acids.
Sleep well. Just as depression can impact your quality of sleep, poor sleep can also contribute to depression. When you’re well rested, it’s easier to maintain your emotional balance and have more energy and focus to tackle your other depression symptoms. Changing your daytime habits and bedtime routines can help improve how well you sleep at night.
Use reminders to keep yourself on track. When you’re depressed, it’s easy to forget the small steps that can help to lift your mood and improve your outlook. Keep reminders of the tips that work for you on your phone or on sticky notes around your home.Read more
Changes You Can Make for 2021 while in Lockdown
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”
I challenge you to remind yourself
Mantra #1: You are not alone.
Mantra #2: Be here now, and breathe.
Mantra #3: This is the beginning.
Mantra #4: In your response is your power.
Mantra #5: You have enough to move forward.
HAPPY NEW YEAR......I hope you can feel the love.
MASTER P & FORMER NBA ALL-STAR BARON DAVIS IN PROCESS OF PURCHASING REEBOK
Most people experience stress and anxiety from time to time. Stress is any demand placed on your brain or physical body. People can report feeling stressed when multiple competing demands are placed on them. The feeling of being stressed can be triggered by an event that makes you feel frustrated or nervous. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, worry, or unease. It can be a reaction to stress, or it can occur in people who are unable to identify significant stressors in their life.
40 gifts we already have in front of us to help with stress and Anxiety