INSPIRATIONAL

  • 30 sexual question you should ask your partner....(part -1)

    Dramatically improving your sex Life.

    1) Do you think it is wise to go to counseling for sexual problems? If not, how would you want to try to work out the problems?

    2) Do you believe that when a couple has sex for the first time, that some sort of commitment is taking place? If so, what?

    3) Given your current sex drive, how often would you like to have sex with your spouse?

    4) Do you have a favorite foreplay activity to turn you on?

    5) Do you like to cuddle after sex?

    6) Is it difficult for you to ask your mate for certain kinds of stimulation?

    7) Does a person's sexual past matter if you really love them?

    8) Do you think that you might have a difficult time having a passionate sex life because of a previous sexual        experience or because of what you were taught about sex growing up?

    9) How would you define satisfying sex?

    10) If I felt that we needed to go to a sex therapist, would you go with me?

    11) On a scale of 1-10, how strong is your sex drive? Is it increasing or is it diminishing?

    12) Do you have any sexual fetishes?

    13) What kind of clothing do you find sexy? What sort of lingerie/underwear would you find most sexy on me for a special night?

    14) Would you get tested for sexually transmitted diseases if I asked you?

    15) Do you like to be visually stimulated during the course of making love?

    16) What would you do if your partner found out he or she had an STD after you had been together?

    17) What body parts turn you on the most?

    18) Would you want to do a sexual act even if your spouse thought it was very unappealing?

    19) Have you ever slept with a person you now know has a sexually

    transmitted disease (about 1 in 5 adults have some sort of STD)?

    20) Have you ever been tested for a STD and what was the outcome? If you are infected, how has it affected your relationships?

    21) Some people think breast and penis size matter when it comes to really good sex. What are your thoughts and/or experiences?

    22) Do you feel self-stimulation is wrong or only when it is accompanied by sexual thoughts of someone besides your mate? Do you think masturbation is an acceptable form of sexual release when your mate isn't in the mood or available?

    23) Have you ever been or gotten someone pregnant?

    24) If you were in an accident and couldn't perform sexually, do you think your lover would be able to cope with that?

    25) If a man has problems maintaining an erection on a regular basis,

    what would you try to do?

    26) Do you have a favorite sex position? Why is it your favorite?

    27) Do you have a preference of making love in the dark, by candlelight or with the lights on?

    28) Who would you feel most comfortable talking with regarding sexual problems? Do you think they are qualified to give you good help and advice?

    29) If you are in the mood for sex and your mate is not, would you rather your mate say "not now" or "I don't think I can climax, but I'd gladly help you get off." Would you ever want to take him or her up on it?

    30)  Have you ever watched a porno movie? If so, how often do you watch them? 

    ....1 MORE

    If you were ever to become addicted to pornography, how would you like me to help you break the habit?

     

     

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  • When someone you love passes away.....Encouragement

    My good friend passed away on the 4th Sept 2017 after a long battle with bowel cancer. He was only 38 years old and the most amazing man and father.

    Lately I have been struggling with the reality of what the cancer did to him. As he was so young his heart was strong, which meant that his body carried on for at least 1 year longer then normal. But in doing so it meant that we watched as the rest of his body wasted away to nothing - literally. I just want to encourage you. 

    1.  You are made to survive the hardest days of your life

    You are born with the ability to change your life no matter how much loss, sadness and difficulty you are experiencing.  You are born ready even though you don’t feel ready.  You are literally hardwired to reinvent yourself and overcome.  You don’t even have to learn to do it, you already know how.  You just need to focus your energy gradually and accordingly.  Grieve with each small step forward, one at a time, one day after the next.

    This is your journey and you can write the map to where you are going.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t, that you should just sit around and “wait” longer… that there is no way out right now.  There is a way!  And you are standing right in front of it.

    Your life is your creation.  When you start to know this.....to truly know this.....then you can be more in control of your life and what happens within it from moment to moment.

    2.  You are the primary creator of your life experience

    In a very real sense, your life is created one day at a time by you and the people you choose to have around you.  This is crucial to know.  You are the creator of yourself and your destiny in each moment.  In a very real sense, what you choose to experience, and who you choose to share each experience with, influences your ultimate creation.

    In other words, you create your life by choosing the kind of story you want to tell every day.  You create it by the way you respond to difficult and painful circumstances.  By the way you see the world and by the people you choose to keep in your life.

    3.  Death is not the end

    Death is not death.  When someone you love dies, it just means they exist in another way....in another dimension that is non-local, non-geographical, non-physical looking.  You have access to that dimension.  Every day.  Every moment.  You don’t have to wait for them to contact you.  You can be the one connecting with them.  And they want to connect with you, too.

    4.  Empty space is as full and real as you are

    When you study quantum physics long enough you learn that your body, the table in front of you, the computer, the phone, the trees, the solid-looking things in your life are not really solid.  They just appear solid and firm.  The truth is that the nothingness of the space between your table and chairs, is the same as the table and chairs.  Nothing and not nothing is one and the same.  The empty space next to you, is made the way you are made.

    One of the reasons this is important to understand is simply that the empty space you perceive around you is not really empty at all—it contains far more than what meets the eye, including the loved ones you’ve lost.  They are still here but you can’t see them with your physical sense of sight.  Your eyes can’t see all the light that exists in a different dimension.  Your ears can’t hear all the sounds that exist there either.  The people we think we’ve lost are right here inside all the space around us.  We really aren’t alone when we are alone.

    This has been one of the biggest discoveries I made. Those loved ones you’ve lost want you to say hi....they want you to talk to them.  I know this can come across as peculiar.... I am fully aware of that.  But through my research and practice I have learned that death is just a word we use to describe the end of someone’s physical life.  Not the absolute end of them.

    5.  Nothing is impossible

    There truly is a deeper reality, a deeper level of life that we can’t see from here, and it is where miracles originate from.  Where healing takes place.  Where everything gets created in the space around us.  And this deeper, more hidden reality is in many ways more real than the one we perceive with our (flawed) physical senses.  And you can bring everything you want from there to here.  This only seems impossible to you right now.  But it isn’t.  NOTHING is impossible!

    Not believing this...not knowing this....is like trying to drive a car at night without the lights on.  There are always impossible obstacles and objects in front of us and around us that we can’t immediately see, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, or that they can’t affect us.  Please don’t forget it.  You are the driver of this experience you call life, and you now know what you need to work on, to turn the lights back on.

    You Impossibly Survived the Unthinkable

    In the end, one thing I know for sure is that life after loss can be the most extraordinary chapter of your life.

    Because those of us who have lost someone we love now want the answers to the bigger questions we never even thought to ask before loss.  The routine of the everyday life is not the same, and it surely isn’t enough.  The basic answers to what life is about no longer seem to fit.  We want more, we are the leaders, seekers and makers of the impossible future.  Because of our deep grief, our forced access to higher levels of grit, and above all our close proximity to death through the loss of our loved ones, we have an evolutionary advantage.  Know this.  Let it sink in.  Nothing is ever the same after such tragedies.  It’s time to live your life in ways you never dreamed were possible!  The world is waiting for people like you to show them the way.

     

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  • Infidelity, Mirco Cheating...

    Infidelity

    Sexual infidelity is widely regarded as one of the most dishonorable assaults against the sanctity of an intimate relationship.  Yet, we all seem to be mesmerized by it.  Infidelity makes a love story more intense, a song or poem more passionately tragic, and forms the foundation for which the immensely popular celebrity gossip industry firmly holds the attention of millions worldwide.  If infidelity is so appalling, then why are we all so consumed with the notions of the act?

    At some point in time everyone involved in an exclusive relationship experiences a momentary thought of infidelity.  It’s the flirtatious glimmer in your eye that indicates a brief superficial curiosity for someone of the opposite sex, the simple act of wondering.  For that split second your values misalign, placing shallow emotion ahead of your true moral character.  This momentary shift is a direct reflection of your instinctual emotion splitting away from your moral values.  When your sound moral values and your fickle emotion are disconnected, your mind is divided and thus your judgment is muddled.  Most people’s acts of infidelity are innocent, left hanging to expire in brief, insignificant moments of thought.

    It is the strength of our character that realigns this momentary disconnect and prevents innocent thought from transgressing into an act of infidelity.  Reliability, honesty, and trustworthiness can be directly measured by one’s strength of character.  When the act of infidelity occurs, it has nothing to do with love; it is solely related to the shameful weakness of one’s character… weakness that is driven by senseless emotion.

    People whom have never actually taken part in the act of infidelity would probably also deny the allegation of ever experiencing a momentary thought of infidelity.  This can be attributed to the fact that the thought never actually enters the conscious mind, but instead lingers in our subconscious.  The thought process is a natural instinct, and although we may be oblivious to it, our minds are instinctually aware of it.  It’s the combination of this subconscious awareness and our general human curiosity that will continue to foster the mass market interest and popularity of infidelity.

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  • Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

    When you’re feeling insecure, you typically don’t notice the hundreds of people around you who accept you just the way you are. All you notice are the few who don’t.

    In what way is the fear of rejection holding you back? How would your life be different if you didn’t (subconsciously) care what everyone thought about you?

    To answer these questions, we must understand that the vast majority of our fears and anxieties amount to one thing: Loss.

    We fear:

    • Losing our youth.
    • Losing our social status.
    • Losing our money.
    • Losing control.
    • Losing our comfort.
    • Losing our life.

    We also fear, perhaps more than anything else, being rejected by others. This kind of fear is widespread and debilitating if left unaddressed. Why is this fear so deeply entrenched in us? In ancient tribal times, being rejected from the safety of the community could have meant death. So it’s no wonder, really, that we want to be accepted by others.

    Fear is an instinctual human emotion designed to keep us aware and safe – like the headlights on a car clearly illuminating the twists and turns on the road ahead. But too much fear, like high beams blinding us on a dark, foggy road, can cause the loss of the very thing we feared losing in the first place.

    This is especially true when it comes to fear of rejection

    Do you look for acceptance and reassurance from others?

    If so, you now know you’re not alone.  And what I’ve learned over the years is this: Constantly seeking acceptance and reassurance from other people is a dead end journey. These things can only be found within you, not from others. Because any look, word, or reaction from someone else can be warped and misinterpreted.

    In this post I want to share some tips that helped me feel self-assured, and eventually allowed me to overcome my fear of rejection and my relentless tenancy to worry about what everyone thought of me…

    1. Realize that fear itself is the real enemy.

    Franklin D. Roosevelt so profoundly said, “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. This is especially true as it relates to self-fulfilling prophecies.

    A self-fulfilling prophecy is a false belief about a situation that motivates the person with the belief to take actions that cause the belief to come true. This kind of thinking often kills opportunities and tears relationships apart. For instance, you might wrongly believe that a group of people will reject you, so you become defensive, anxious, and perhaps even hostile with them. Eventually, your behavior brings about the feared rejection, which wasn’t there to begin with. And then you, ‘the prophet,’ feels that you were right from the very beginning: “I knew they didn’t like me!”

    Do you see how this works? Look carefully at your own tendencies. How do your fears and beliefs about possible rejection influence your behavior toward others? Take a stand. Instead of letting fear show you what might be wrong in your relationships, start looking for signs of what might be right.

    2. Let go of your “end of the world” thinking.

    All variations of fear, including the fear of rejection, thrive on “end of the world” thinking. In other words, our emotions convince us that an undesirable outcome results in annihilation.

    • What if they don’t like me?
    • What if he rejects me?
    • What if I don’t fit in and I’m left sitting alone at the party?

    None of these things result in the “end of the world,” but if we convince ourselves that they do, we will irrationally fear these outcomes and give our fears control over us. The truth is, we – human beings – are inefficient at accurately predicting how future misfortune will make us feel. In fact, most of the time we avoid consciously thinking about it all together, which only perpetuates our subconscious fears.

    So ask yourself: “If disaster should strike, and my fear of being rejected comes true, what are three constructive ways I could cope and move forward with my life?” Sit down and tell yourself a story (write it down too if it helps) about how you will feel after rejection, how you will allow yourself to be upset for a short while, and then how you will begin the process of growing from the experience and moving on. Just doing this exercise will help you feel less fear around the possibility of rejection.

    3. Question what “rejection” really means.

    If a person discovers a 200 carat white diamond in the earth but, due to ignorance, believes it to be worthless, and thus tosses it aside, does this tell us more about the diamond or the person? Along the same lines, when one person rejects another, it reveals a lot more about the ‘rejecter’ than the ‘rejected.’ All you are really seeing is the often shortsighted opinion of one person. Consider the following…

    If J.K. Rowling stopped after being rejected by multiple publishers for years, there would be no Harry Potter. If Howard Schultz gave up after being turned down by banks 200+ times, there would be no Starbucks. If Walt Disney quit too soon after his theme park concept was trashed by 300+ investors, there would be no Disney World.

    One thing is for sure: If you give too much power to the opinions of others, you will become their prisoner. So never let someone’s opinion alter your reality. Never sacrifice who you are, or who you aspire to be, just because someone else has a problem with it. Love who you are inside and out, and keep pushing forward. No one else has the power to make you feel small unless you give them that power. And when someone rejects you, don’t inevitably feel it’s because you’re unworthy or unlovable. Because, in many ways, all they’ve really done is give you feedback about their own shortsightedness.

    4. Let your presence overpower your fear.

    Ever noticed how people who are struggling with emotional challenges tend to tell you how they don’t want to feel? Fair enough, but at some point we all need to focus on how we DO want to feel.

    When you’re in a social situation that’s making you anxious, forget what you don’t want to feel for a moment. Work out how you DO want to feel right now in the present moment. Train yourself to live right here, right now without regretting how others once made you feel, or fearing the possibility of future judgment.

    This is YOUR choice. You CAN change the way you think.

    If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on your mother in public, you’d be 100% focused and present. You wouldn’t be thinking about what bystanders thought of your hair, your body type, or the brand of jeans you were wearing. All these inconsequential details would vanish from your consciousness. The intensity of the situation would motivate you to choose not to care about what others might be thinking of you. This proves, quite simply, that thinking about what others are thinking about you is YOUR CHOICE.

    5. Let go of your need to always be right.

    The reason your fear of rejection sometimes gets the best of you is because a part of you believes you’re always right. If you think someone doesn’t like you, then surely they don’t. Right? WRONG!

    People who never learn to question their emotions, especially when they’re feeling worrisome or anxious, make life much more difficult than it has to be.

    If your perception is always so accurate, why do you make so many mistakes? Exactly! It’s time to let go a little. Being more confident in life partly means being OK with not knowing what’s going to happen, so you can relax and allow things to play out naturally. Relaxing with ‘not knowing’ is the key to confidence in relationships and peace in life.

    So here’s a new mantra for you ... say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons. I have nothing to prove. And as long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.”

    6. Embrace and enjoy your individuality.

    Constantly seeking approval means we’re perpetually worried that others are forming negative judgments of us. This steals the fun, ingenuity, and spontaneity from our lives. Flip the switch on this habit. If you’re lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else, don’t be ashamed and don’t change. Uniqueness is priceless. In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your remarkable self. And if they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the same.

    It takes a lot of courage to stand alone, but it’s worth it. Being unapologetically YOU is worth it! Your real friends in life will reveal themselves slowly – they’re the ones who truly know you and love you just the same.

    Bottom line: Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love the real you. 

    7. Use rejection as a priceless growth opportunity.

    As soon as someone critiques and criticizes you, as soon as you are rejected, you might find yourself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am not worthy.” What you need to realize is, these other people are NOT worthy of YOU and your particular journey. Rejection is necessary medicine; it teaches you how to reject relationships and opportunities that aren’t going to work, so you can quickly find new ones that will. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it just means someone else failed to notice what you have to offer. Which means you now have more time to improve yourself and explore your options.

    “Will you be bitter for a moment? Absolutely. Hurt? Of course, you’re human. There isn’t a soul on this planet that doesn’t feel a small fraction of their heartbreak at the awareness of rejection. For a short time afterwards you will ask yourself every question you can think of…

    • What did I do wrong?
    • Why didn’t they like me?
    • How come?

    But then you have to let your emotions fuel you! This is the important part. Let your feelings of rejection drive you, feed you, and inspire one heck of a powerful opening to the next chapter of your story.

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  • Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the desires that drain you.

     

     

    They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.  I don’t think anything could be closer to the truth, and yet all too often we find ways of complicating things for ourselves.  We look for happiness where it does not exist .... in shallow goals and desires ... in possessions, quick thrills, and impressing the wrong people.

    So say it out loud with me:

    “To be happier, I do NOT need…”

    1. To please everyone – Be careful not to give so much of yourself to others that you end up completely losing yourself.  When you go around pleasing everyone but yourself, you are the one that gets hurt in the end.  The late and great Herbert Bayard Swope said it like this: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”  That is spot on advice if you ask me.  Because truthfully, you are never going to please everyone anyway.  At some point you will hold an unpopular opinion – one that gives you meaning and makes you feel alive.  And when you do, you ought to hold on tight, tune out the noise, and make it count.
    2. Everything to be easy – You have to do hard things to be happy in life.  The things no one else is doing.  The things that frighten you.  The things others can’t do for you.  The things that make you question how much longer you can hold on and push forward.  Because those are the things that define you.  Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living – between knowing the path and walking the path – between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with happiness and success.
    3. Certainty and guarantees – Some people build too many walls in their lives and not enough bridges.  It sounds crazy, but they would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.  Don’t be one of them.  Open yourself up.  Take chances.  Run free.  To accomplish amazing things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.  Be a dreamer, a believer, and a courageous and cheerful thinker.  Be a positive motivator, a productive doer, and a go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds and her feet on the ground.  Let the spirit of passion and possibility ignite a fire within you to do something worthwhile today and every day, and don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to those around you.  
    4. To be better than others – The size of our universe shrinks dramatically when we place ourselves at the center – when we think everyone is our competition – when we think we have to be richer, smarter, and more attractive than the person sitting next to us.  Such a goal just keeps a person alienated and tirelessly running in place.  Now, on the flipside, take someone who doesn’t keep score, who’s not looking to be richer, or smarter, or more attractive, who has not the slightest interest even in being better than anyone else: she’s free.  Bottom line: Compete with yourself only.
    5. More control over everything and everyone – Sometimes we put too much interest into trying to control every tiny aspect of our lives.  Learn to relax and ride the path that life takes you sometimes.  Incredible change will happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you do not.  Freeing yourself from trying to control the insignificant and uncontrollable things lets you experience more of the goodness around you.  In fact, the greatest joys are often the unexpected surprises that arrive when you are flexible and open to life’s twists and turns.
    6. Immense moments of glory – Graduations, wedding days, lavish vacations – these times are often fun-filled and deeply celebrated, but these times pass, because time passes.  This is something we rarely grasp at first.  True, lasting happiness is found in the appreciation of all the small things.  For me, there are random moments – making a beat, coming home to my wife and children, playing chess with my sons, standing in the kitchen watching my wife cook, hearing a giggle from my sons who’s playing PS4 in the other room.
    7. Relationships that are “supposed to” provide happiness – Relationships are essential, but happiness originates from within.  It is not dependent on external validation or on other people.  You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend entirely on the behavior and actions of others.  Keep this in mind.  Never give all your power to anyone else.  Until you make complete peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have or who you’re with.  Learn to love and respect yourself first, before loving the idea of other people loving and respecting you.
    8. Perfect harmony in all relationships at all times – Harmony in relationships is nice when it’s sincere, but too often we try to fake it.  Effective communication is king.  You have to talk it out sometimes.  After all, the only way to be happy in life is to live with integrity.  This means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships.  Being clear and asking for what you want and need from others.  Speaking your truth, even though it might create occasional tension.  Behaving in ways that are in agreement with your personal values.  Making choices based on what you believe, and not just what others believe. 
    9. A superior time and place – The reason many people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.  The key, of course, is to do the opposite.  Appreciate your past without reliving it, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.  Life is simply too short to spend at war with yourself.  Letting go of the past and future is your first step to happiness and peace in the present.  Realize that you are today where your thoughts and actions have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts and actions today take you.  Bottom line: You can’t stop the future.  You can’t rewind the past.  The only way to live is to press play, and Rap over the beat.
    10. Happiness 24/7 – Absolutely no one is happy all of the time.  Because you simply can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes.  This is a harsh truth, I know.  Just keep in mind that it’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.  Believing and expecting otherwise will only lead to disillusionment.  But even when life is less than blissful, you are still in charge of how you respond.  The greatest act of faith some days is to simply get up and face the day, with a smile.

     

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