My good friend passed away on the 4th Sept 2017 after a long battle with bowel cancer. He was only 38 years old and the most amazing man and father.
Lately I have been struggling with the reality of what the cancer did to him. As he was so young his heart was strong, which meant that his body carried on for at least 1 year longer then normal. But in doing so it meant that we watched as the rest of his body wasted away to nothing - literally. I just want to encourage you.
1. You are made to survive the hardest days of your life
You are born with the ability to change your life no matter how much loss, sadness and difficulty you are experiencing. You are born ready even though you don’t feel ready. You are literally hardwired to reinvent yourself and overcome. You don’t even have to learn to do it, you already know how. You just need to focus your energy gradually and accordingly. Grieve with each small step forward, one at a time, one day after the next.
This is your journey and you can write the map to where you are going. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t, that you should just sit around and “wait” longer… that there is no way out right now. There is a way! And you are standing right in front of it.
Your life is your creation. When you start to know this.....to truly know this.....then you can be more in control of your life and what happens within it from moment to moment.
2. You are the primary creator of your life experience
In a very real sense, your life is created one day at a time by you and the people you choose to have around you. This is crucial to know. You are the creator of yourself and your destiny in each moment. In a very real sense, what you choose to experience, and who you choose to share each experience with, influences your ultimate creation.
In other words, you create your life by choosing the kind of story you want to tell every day. You create it by the way you respond to difficult and painful circumstances. By the way you see the world and by the people you choose to keep in your life.
3. Death is not the end
Death is not death. When someone you love dies, it just means they exist in another way....in another dimension that is non-local, non-geographical, non-physical looking. You have access to that dimension. Every day. Every moment. You don’t have to wait for them to contact you. You can be the one connecting with them. And they want to connect with you, too.
4. Empty space is as full and real as you are
When you study quantum physics long enough you learn that your body, the table in front of you, the computer, the phone, the trees, the solid-looking things in your life are not really solid. They just appear solid and firm. The truth is that the nothingness of the space between your table and chairs, is the same as the table and chairs. Nothing and not nothing is one and the same. The empty space next to you, is made the way you are made.
One of the reasons this is important to understand is simply that the empty space you perceive around you is not really empty at all—it contains far more than what meets the eye, including the loved ones you’ve lost. They are still here but you can’t see them with your physical sense of sight. Your eyes can’t see all the light that exists in a different dimension. Your ears can’t hear all the sounds that exist there either. The people we think we’ve lost are right here inside all the space around us. We really aren’t alone when we are alone.
This has been one of the biggest discoveries I made. Those loved ones you’ve lost want you to say hi....they want you to talk to them. I know this can come across as peculiar.... I am fully aware of that. But through my research and practice I have learned that death is just a word we use to describe the end of someone’s physical life. Not the absolute end of them.
5. Nothing is impossible
There truly is a deeper reality, a deeper level of life that we can’t see from here, and it is where miracles originate from. Where healing takes place. Where everything gets created in the space around us. And this deeper, more hidden reality is in many ways more real than the one we perceive with our (flawed) physical senses. And you can bring everything you want from there to here. This only seems impossible to you right now. But it isn’t. NOTHING is impossible!
Not believing this...not knowing this....is like trying to drive a car at night without the lights on. There are always impossible obstacles and objects in front of us and around us that we can’t immediately see, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, or that they can’t affect us. Please don’t forget it. You are the driver of this experience you call life, and you now know what you need to work on, to turn the lights back on.
You Impossibly Survived the Unthinkable
In the end, one thing I know for sure is that life after loss can be the most extraordinary chapter of your life.
Because those of us who have lost someone we love now want the answers to the bigger questions we never even thought to ask before loss. The routine of the everyday life is not the same, and it surely isn’t enough. The basic answers to what life is about no longer seem to fit. We want more, we are the leaders, seekers and makers of the impossible future. Because of our deep grief, our forced access to higher levels of grit, and above all our close proximity to death through the loss of our loved ones, we have an evolutionary advantage. Know this. Let it sink in. Nothing is ever the same after such tragedies. It’s time to live your life in ways you never dreamed were possible! The world is waiting for people like you to show them the way.