Latest Articles

  • Painfully Truths We Forgets

    You know how you can hear something a hundred times in a hundred different ways before it finally gets through to you?  The ten truths listed below fall firmly into that category – life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, but for whatever reason, haven’t fully grasped.

    This, my friends, is my attempt at helping all of us, myself included, “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

     

    1.  The average human life is relatively short.

    We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know.  It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step.  You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.

    LIVE your life TODAY!  Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either.  Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action.  Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive.  Be bold.  Be courageous.  Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.

    2.  You will only ever live the life you create for yourself.

    Your life is yours alone.  Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you.  They can walk with you, but not in your shoes.  So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense.

    Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.  Be productive and patient.  And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.  This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices.  May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.

    And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it.  Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart.  

    3.  Being busy does NOT mean being productive.

    Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect.  Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time.  We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.

    Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days.  Just take a quick look around.  Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin.  Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time.  They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc.  They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep.  Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations.  Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance.  But it’s all an illusion.  They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.

    Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term.  We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.

    4.  Some kind of failure always occurs before success.

    Most mistakes are unavoidable.  Learn to forgive yourself.  It’s not a problem to make them.  It’s only a problem if you never learn from them.

    If you’re too afraid of failure, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful.  The solution to this problem is making friends with failure.  You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner?  The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.  Behind every great piece of art is a thousand failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us.

    Bottom line:  Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will.  Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.  

    5.  Thinking and doing are two very different things.

    Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.

    You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.  Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals.  Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.

    And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

    6.  You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.

    Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies you never got.  The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative.  It’s taking a step back and saying.” Thank you for the lesson”  It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent free in your head.

    Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to keep.  When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self.  It has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.

    7.  Some people are simply the wrong match for you.

    You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down.  You shouldn’t force connections with people who constantly make you feel less than amazing.

    If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure every time you’re with them, for whatever reason, they’re probably not close friend material.  If they make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or if they make you “less than” in any way, don’t pursue a connection with them.  If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out with them or get a small hit of anxiety when you are reminded of them, listen to your intuition.  There are so many “right people” for you, who energize you and inspire you to be your best self.  It makes no sense to force it with people who are the wrong match for you.

    8.  It’s not other people’s job to love you; it’s yours.

    It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you.  Know your worth, even if they don’t.

    Today, let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are.  Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.  

    9.  What you own is not who YOU are.

    Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person.  Most of us can make do with much less than we think we need.  That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences.

    You have to create your own culture.  Don’t watch TV, don’t read every fashion magazine, and don’t consume too much of the evening news.  Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences.  The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about Kim Kardashian or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are disempowered.  You’re giving your life away to marketing and media trickery, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to dress a certain way, look a certain way, and be a certain way.  This is tragic, this kind of thinking.  It’s all just Hollywood brainwashing.  What is real is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc.

    Too often we’re told that we’re not important, we’re just peripheral to what is.  “Get a degree, get a job, get a car, get a house, and keep on getting.”  And it’s sad, because someday you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been tricked.  And all you’ll want then is to reclaim your mind by getting it out of the hands of the brainwashers who want to turn you into a drone that buys everything that isn’t needed to impress everyone that is not important.

    10.  Everything changes, every second.

    Embrace change and realize it happens for a reason.  It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

    What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow.  You never know.  Things change, often spontaneously.  People and circumstances come and go.  Life doesn’t stop for anybody.  It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day.  It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.

    Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives.  A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth.  Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event.  And these events are always happening.

    However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So when life is good, enjoy it.  Don’t go looking for something better every second.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have while they have it.

    Read more
  • How to Change the Way You Think.

    How to Change the Way You Think.

    The saying “She who teaches others, teaches herself” is very true, not only because constant repetition helps impress facts indelibly on the mind, but also because the process of teaching itself gives greater insight into the subject taught.

    One of the strategies we teach over and over again is self-inquiry, which is basically the art of asking ourselves the right questions. Why is this strategy so important? Because the questions we ask ourselves become thoughts. Thoughts then become words. Words become actions. Actions become character. And character changes everything.

    Truth be told, when times get tough and big problems arise, as they inevitably will, it is the strength of our character that sees us through.

    And since our character is directly influenced by what we say to (and ask of) ourselves on a daily basis, I want you to think about how you’ve been speaking to yourself lately. Have you been using the empowering, encouraging words you would speak to a friend? Or the belittling remarks you would shout to an enemy if you had no heart? Or the negative remarks about life you might utter if you had no faith?

    All day long you speak silently to yourself, and a part of you believes every word. Which is why it’s important to stay mindful when problems arise, and meditate on the right questions…

    1. What could you be positive and happy about right now, if you really wanted to? – Your greatest weapon against stress and negativity is your ability to choose one thought over another. Happiness escapes from those who refuse to see the good in what they have. When life gives you every reason to be negative, think of one good reason to be positive.
    2. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have right now? – Smile, not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and thankful for all the good things you do have, and for all the problems you know you don’t have. 
    3. What do you need to stop thinking and saying to yourself? – Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t, and start giving yourself credit for everything you ARE. We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.
    4. What are you holding on to that you need to let go of? – One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go—whether it’s guilt, anger, love or loss. Change is never easy. You fight to hold on and you fight to let go, but oftentimes letting go is the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic thoughts from the past. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.
    5. Will you blame others and deny responsibility, or will you create an action plan to move forward? – Imagine how much more effective and happy you’d be if, instead of denying, blaming, dreading and fighting against certain situations and tasks, you simply got them handled.
    6. How can you respond from a place of clarity and strength, rather than thoughtlessly reacting to this experience? – Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. And remember that our character is often most evident in our highs and lows. Be humble at the mountaintops, be strong in the valleys, and be faithful in between.
    7. How can you be of service to the greater good, so that everyone around you feels elevated, rather than weighed down? – Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. Thus, the best way to find yourself when times are tough, is to lose yourself in the service of a cause greater than yourself.
    8. How are your expectations serving you, or hurting you? – Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of everything is the best way to avoid being disappointed.  Because, in a sense, expectations are like fine pottery—the harder you hold on to them, the more likely they are to crack. So just let go a little, and appreciate your life and relationships for what they truly are.
    9. Who, or what, needs your forgiveness? – Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to healed relationships and situations. Some relationships and situations aren’t meant to be. Forgive anyway, and let what’s meant to be, BE. Go ahead and set yourself free. When you hold resentment toward another entity, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and break free.
    10. What do you now know better for next time? – Don’t let your fear of past events affect all the possibilities ahead of you. Live for what today has to offer, not what yesterday has taken away. There will always be obstacles, but we are confined most often by the walls we build ourselves. What we see greatly depends on how we look at it. Forget what you’ve lost and focus on what you’ve learned.

     

    Read more
  • Largest Black-owned bank launches visa debit card in honor of Black women

    OneUnited Bank launched a Queen Visa Debit Card under its Royalty Campaign to recognize women who exude #BlackGirlMagic, including Harriet Tubman, Shirley Chisholm, and Angela Davis.

    The largest Black-owned bank in America is paying respects to Black queens all over the country. OneUnited Bank launched a Queen Visa Debit Card under its Royalty Campaign to recognize the women who exude #BlackGirlMagic, according to a press release.

    OneUnited bank introduced the Queen Card in March during Women’s History Month under the Royalty #WearYourCrown Campaign to raise awareness of  the #BankBlack and #BuyBlack Movement across the nation.

    “We agree with Maya Angelou,”  President and COO of OneUnited Bank, Teri Williams,said in a statement. “If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be. We encourage the Black community to celebrate the amazing past, present and future Queens in our community.”

    The bank is recognizing women in various career fields, including scientists, educators, entertainers and activists, who all made an impact on the world.

     

    Some notable black women figures include Aretha Franklin, Oprah Winfrey, Angela Davis, Queen Latifah,  Beyoncé, Harriet Tubman, and Shirley Chisholm.

    In February, the bank launched a Black History Month campaign with a King Visa Debit Card under its Royalty Campaign as well. They find it important to celebrate “the new generation of kings and queens” in the country.

    OneUnited Bank supports its community “by promoting financial literacy and offering affordable financial services” and this campaign embodies what it means to recognize trailblazing women who are making a difference.

    Black women have been especially making significant strides in entrepreneurship. From 2007 to 2018, the total of black women-owned business grew by a whopping 164 percent. In 2018, 2.4 million Black women owned businesses across the nation, according to Forbes. In almost every sector, Black women reign.

    Read more

Latest Articles

Most Popular